Stop Procrastinating

It’s this time of year again; we’re slap bang in the middle of exam season. And instead of revising I choose to write mindless crap on my blog because… well it makes me happy and my next exam is English so…this counts as revision right? Mmm probably not, but I fancy a wee rant about exams. As I’m sure most of the people that read this are also going through the torturous exam process at the moment, so you can relate to my pain. Here are several points that I hate about exams:

1. Revision, ha that’s a joke why is it when you are revising, there are so many distractions just forcing you to procrastinate. A really good TV program just happens to come on and you feel obliged to watch it. Then while watching it you sit there feeling guilty for watching the TV and you don’t actually enjoy the program. Suddenly, bop-it that has been sitting on top of your wardrobe is staring at you, so you take it down and realise you are a bop-it pro and you spend a good half an hour re-living your child hood before you realise that your exam is tomorrow and you’ve wasted valuable time for being a total idiot.

2. Exams are during the summer! Not fair as there is a chance that the weather may actually be sunny for once and you have to stay inside to revise. Although luckily we live in England and to put it bluntly the weather is shit most of the time.

3. How unfair is it that you have, what like an hour, to demonstrate your amazingness in a subject in scary, stressful conditions that make you feel like you want to kill yourself. If you don’t perform in the small amount of time you’re given to impress you’re examiner that’s it, you’ve wasted a year. All I can think when going in to an exam is… “If you fail this Olivia, you’re not going to uni, you’re going to be a hobo if you fail this exam” talk about pressure. I don’t want to be a hobo.

4. Parents seem to think it’s great to put pressure on you because they’re ‘only helping’. You’re not helping by asking me every 5 minutes about my work, how much I’ve done, if I’m stressed. If you left me alone and let me get on with my revision then maybe I wouldn’t be so stressed! And they make you feel guilty for going out for half an hour to see a friend. I need my gals mum, leave it out.

5. Most people have proms and holidays planned for the end of exam celebration but for these there is a certain amount of preparation one has to do. I go on sunbeds, go the gym, go on jogs, swim and get various parts of my anatomy waxed and pruned. All this costs money and takes time. 2 things I have very little of during the exam period! Because if I want money I need a job, if I have a job then I feel guilty for working and not revising but if I have no money then, well, life is miserable! Also dieting is not something you want to be doing when you’re stressed up to the eyeballs, but even the thought of people seeing me in a bikini makes me feel sick, so slim fast is my new best friend but is probably not the most healthy thing to be doing when mentally unstable.

6. Finally after the exams and celebrations are over you have to wait for months for the dreaded results day. These months you’re floating around in limbo, your future is helplessly out of your hands, all you can do is get drunk to pass the time and numb the nerves that if you fail you will not be going to the uni you really want to go to.

So reading this I have wasted your valuable revision time and freaked you out about failing. Well get back to revising, no one wants to fail and be a hobo! Good luck and stop stressing, what happens, happens and think of all the alcohol just waiting to be consumed after your last exam. Although maybe this is just practice for all the alcohol you’re going to be drinking once you’re homeless failure.

Money Can Buy You Happiness

No shocker that I’m a materialistic person, I love shoes, clothes, handbags, cars and everything else expensive. But who doesn’t? Retail therapy always cheers my up, the smell of new clothes, the excitement when you rip the label off a new item of clothing and it’s officially yours. (I think I may have a shopping addiction) I love all of that, so I would be happy...No ecstatic if I won the lottery and had loads of money. I buy a euro millions ticket pretty much every week, sometimes two. This week I bought 5 because it was £120 million! Can you imagine? I would be in heaven. Every door in the world would be open to you with all that money, you can literally do anything you want, buy anything you want, go anywhere you want to go. How can that not make someone happy?

I understand that money can’t buy love or health. And if I’m honest I would chose love over money anyday because love is the only thing that makes me happier. But loads of money would just make life so much easier wouldn’t it?